It's my birthday today. Probably the first one in 15 years that I'm not depressed about. You know, depressed about getting older...getting wrinkles, an untoned belly, bat wings...you get it. I even cried when I turned 30. CRIED!!! Not completely sure if it was because I was turning thirty or if it was because I had gone back to finish my last year of school for my degree in Landscape Architecture at the U of I and was completely miserable and alone up there... or because everyone else in class was 22. :-) I think I may have finally seen the light though. A friend of mine recently posted about a a close friend of hers that passed away from cancer. A much too young mother and wife, who fought it, but in the end lost that battle. A much younger woman than me. My friend had cancer too, but she's beaten it. Her post was so poignant, it brought tears to my eyes. All about a woman I never even knew. And I really don't tear up too easily...ask my husband. He thinks I'm an emotionless robot!!! I honestly don't know what it was about this certain post. I read about things like that all the time, but this one seemed to hit home for some reason. What a terrifying thing to think about. About leaving your family too soon, your kids, motherless. People die every single day, about 146,357 of them actually. Yes, I googled that. That's the average. How awful of me to be depressed every birthday because I'm getting older. Wouldn't all the people that died to soon, for whatever reason, love the opportunity to get the wrinkles that I have and the wrinkles that I will most certainly get in the future? It's beyond shallow and unthankful of me. So, this year, I will not be depressed. I will not be sad. I'm going to be happy about it, and thank my lucky stars I've gotten the gift of another year. I'm still going to fight those wrinkles. Oh yes, I will never like them or any of the other little things that are annoying about getting older, but I'm not going to be depressed or sad about it. I'm going to be happy that I get a chance to go out and search for that miracle cream that makes those wrinkles disappear. And I'm truly hoping I'm still around when they FINALLY develop that miracle youth pill. What's the hold up scientists?
...and remove myself from soap box...whatever that means.